


Wither

by gospelburnout



Category: Pierce the Veil, Sleeping With Sirens
Genre: Angst, Fanfiction, Gay, M/M, character death tw, eating disorder tw, kellic - Freeform, m/m - Freeform, suicide attempt tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 11:09:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16575314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gospelburnout/pseuds/gospelburnout
Summary: Kellin Quinn runs a blog called "get skinny", a guide full of tips and tricks for people looking to do anything to get thin. He never thought it would kill someone. Now he has to try and figure out how to get better, how to love himself and most of all, how to forgive himself.





	Wither

**Author's Note:**

> Read the tags for trigger warnings

The laptop burned the skin of his thighs, the hot air making him wince as he tried to type up his latest post. 'How to deal with nosy people'- referring to the people who wouldn't stop asking questions "why aren't you eating?" "Why are you losing so much weight?" People like Kellin's mom. Or at least his mom before he moved out the day he turned eighteen.

Those people annoyed him, all he wanted to do was lose weight, everyone did right? He didn't think about the fact that there were probably hundreds (maybe even thousands) of minors reading all of his posts.

It was a normal day, really. He was sitting in his fuzzy chair. Legs propped up on a small table as he sipped on his Skinny Tea and ignited the gnawing ache in his stomach. He always kept the curtains in his bedroom tightly drawn, liking to pretend that he was the only person who existed. 

The light in his room was dim, covered by a foggy glass dome that always attracted bugs to it, and the constant "ding" sounds that reverberated through the room drove him absolutely mad sometimes, so he liked to turn on music, letting the sounds of classical music fill his ears (his favorites was symphony no. 9 by Mahler).

His fingers knew the keys of the computer well, and sometimes he just liked to watch them, thin fingers moving gracefully- almost how a ballerina would twirl en pointe. He had always wanted to be graceful-light. He wanted to be light as air, twirling through the clouds and spinning as though not even gravity could hold him down.

He typed faster, loving the pain when the corner of his computer hit his hip bone. He smiled, it hurt a lot all of the time- between hunger pains and constantly being cold and sometimes the pain he felt when he passed out and hit his head- but it was all worth it.

His blog proved that- titled 'get skinny' with over two hundred thousand followers, his own community of people who wanted to be light too.

His blog was so popular that it'd ended up being discussed on different news sites- the words toxic and harmful making Kellin feel sick to his stomach, until he remembered all of the messages he got.

Thank you for helping me, your posts are so helpful.

I'm happy now because of you, I finally hit my goal weight and I've never felt better.

You're such an inspiration to all of us.

There were so many of them everyday, people thanking him and sharing pictures of their bodies (all of them beautiful to Kellin) and Kellin wondered how he could get called such names when all he was doing was helping people like him.

He heard his phone go off and sighed, he only had about half of what he wanted to write done, but he decided to let himself have a little break. His friend, Tony, had texted him.

Kellin didn't have many friends, just Tony actually, and part of him knew that it was because of his eating...habits. (Kellin didn't have a problem.)

They all got scared and left, or Kellin got mad at them when they tried to make him eat so they all left him, probably for someone better anyways.

They had to of gotten sick of the way Kellin would always stare at them, their thighs and wrists, hip bones and collarbones, like he was observing a statue at a museum and not hanging out and getting drunk with his friends. Soon getting drunk with them turned from light hearted laughs to the feeling of 80 proof vodka on an empty stomach.

One by one they left him, but Tony always stayed, and a part of kel was thankful for that, but the other part of him hated it, the "eat breakfast please" and "don't write for your blog kel, it's so bad for you" texts were an annoyance.

He wondered how long Tony would stick around. Probably not too long if he read the blog post Kellin was working on- 'friends who never stop bugging you about your eating habits are one of the most annoying things.'

Kellin opened the text, and he was surprised by what he read- 'have you seen the post, Kel? It's everywhere.' (T)

'What post?' (K) tony was never so vague, so Kellin knew it couldn't be anything good.

The next text was a screenshot, the text reading-   
'My friend Vic Fuentes recently passed away due to his struggle with an eating disorder (anorexia). His passing was unexpected and tragic. He was so happy before all of it- before he stumbled upon the blog called Get Skinny. He was carefree, he loved himself and everything about life, but that blog changed him. It ripped away his happiness and innocence. It only took eight months for Vic to die, eight months of reading the blog posts almost religiously. He limited his calories, and eventually just stopped eating. He followed every stupid rule that blog posted and it killed him. I tried contacting the blog but messaging is turned off, which doesn't surprise me. The person can't even own up to their own actions. Vic went from someone who was happy and healthy, to someone who cried himself to sleep every night and threw up at the sight of food. I watched my best friend fall apart to nothing, I watched him go to the hospital and have a feeding tube shoved down his throat, and I watched his heart break more and more every single day. I lost my Bee the day he found that blog, and I just want everyone to know the dangers of blogs like those. They glamourize a lifestyle that is literally slow suicide. They show pictures of girls and boys who are dangerously underweight, and possibly even minors. They brag about the amount of calories they take in, the less the better. They post horrible things telling people to fast for days, even weeks sometimes. The list of horrible things these blogs do is endless. But the most horrible thing of all is the fact that one took my best friend and the sweetest, happiest and most caring person I know from me and this world, and that is completely unfair. To whoever is reading this, I want you to at least have some part of vee, so I want to tell you about him before everything, he shouldn't be remembered as the boy who starved himself to death, that wasn't Vic. Vic was always so happy. If you were with him you knew you were gonna end up with a sore face because you smiled and laughed so much. He had the prettiest eyes, they could captivate anyone from across the room. His voice was so soft, it made you feel like you could just sit and listen to him talk forever. He always liked talking about happy things, like puppies, his favorite tv shows and his little brother. We would go on walks to the beach a lot, he loved sitting in the sand and seeing how many seashells he could dig up, and he always walked the shore to make sure no little sea animals needed help getting back to the water. He volunteered a lot of his time to the community, whether it be helping at the local library (he loved story time with all the kids- he was amazing at doing all the voices for different people in the story) or cleaning up trash along the road or even helping out at the school for the deaf (Vic knew more sign language than my brain could ever comprehend). He loved helping, he loved making people smile, and he was always so happy. He would always tell me that life was the best thing to ever happen to him, that no matter what everything would be okay because he was alive and he could make an impact, even if it was small. He was full of life, he made me feel so much more alive than I ever had. And that was stolen from him. Our walks turned into him running for hours on end with only a few calories to keep him upright. Volunteering turned into crying in bed because he hated himself so much. I remember the day that I found him looking at the blog. He was scrolling through pictures of peoples legs, all of them with thigh gaps, which Vic did not have. I'd never seen him so distressed, poking at his skin like he was absolutely disgusted by it. Those pictures, all of those horrible posts, they all made someone so absolutely beautiful hate himself. Vic was stunning, his body was beautiful, and he had a beautiful personality to match. But he lost all of that in his fight, he lost his fight. And hopefully his story can help at least one person. Vic would have wanted that. He would want people to read this and decide to get better, he would've helped anyone in his situation, it's kind of unbelievable that Vic even ended up falling apart like he did. But it just shows that even the brightest of stars fade out eventually. Please don't let this keep happening, no one else has to die because of this and the horrible nature of blogs like the one that killed Vic. And hopefully a piece of Vic will live in all of our hearts. Thank you.'

Kellin couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. He couldn't do anything, and what tony sent next destroyed whatever was left of his heart.

It was a follow up post, by the same person-

'Thank you to all of the people sending me messages, and for those of you asking, here's a few of my favorite pictures of Vic. Thank you again, Vic would be so happy.

This was Vic the day that me and him went on a road trip through the mountains of Northern California. We had so much fun and Vic was beyond happy when he saw the bear I got him from a gift shop. He looked so healthy, it's hard to believe that just a year later he'd learn to hate that body.

This was Vic when he got his puppy, who he named 'Sunshine' (a very Vic thing to name a dog), and he took everywhere with him

This was Vic when he got his puppy, who he named 'Sunshine' (a very Vic thing to name a dog), and he took everywhere with him. The two were inseparable, they went on walks together and vee even found restaurants that would let him bring Sunny in with him. Ever since Vic died, Sunny just lays in a small pile of his shirts and whines. Vic would be devastated if he knew his puppy was so sad.

This was Vic on our five year friend anniversary (yes we celebrated every year). He took me to the aquarium and showed me all of the fish there, and after that I took him to the pet store so we could buy him a nice fish tank. We went back to vics apartment and had the best time setting it up. We laughed and spilled the small rocks all over the floor by accident, and had to go buy more. The next day we went and picked him out fish, and he picked out so many colorful ones, getting so excited each time they handed him a bag with a fish in it, rambling about how "absolutely precious" they were. I think even the fish miss vee.

Those pictures and memories are some of my favorite, but there are an infinite number of things I could share about Vic, there's no way I could accurately tell them all. Thank you all for reading this, sharing it, and spreading my message, it means so much to me and I'm sure Vic is smiling wherever he is.

Now, for the other side of it. After vics struggle began, he started looking worse, he was never ugly, or anything less than beautiful, but he looked sick, and he looked sad, but these pictures are important to show too. 

To be honest, I don't remember what day this was- all I know is that Vic was incredibly sad. He hadn't been sleeping, and he hadn't even left his apartment in days. His eyes are so haunting in this picture, and I wish I had seen it sooner.

His eyes are so haunting in this picture, and I wish I had seen it sooner  
I remember this day better. I had taken him out to eat at one of our favorite food trucks by the beach, and I remember the discomfort (disgust even) he showed on his face when he saw the food. He wiped the grease off of it with a napkin and only ate a few bites. I thought maybe his stomach was upset.

This picture was towards the beginning of it all, when Vic first started to look at the blog. He was eating around 1200 calories still each day, and hadn't started showing too many signs of anything bad, but the sadness in his face showed how bad things truly were.

I know this is all very sad, but it needs to be shown. Someone so happy and full of life can end up so sad and so miserable. If anyone you know is struggling like Vic was, please get them some help. Talk to them, love them, and get them some help. I don't want any other beautiful stars to die out because of a horrible illness.

Never forget Vic, and never forget to care about people, sometimes even the strongest and happiest people need some help.

-Tilian

Kellin knew he should say something- send a message to this Tilian person- but all he could do was panic. His heart was racing, tears pouring down his cheeks, across sharp cheekbones that Kellin felt disgusted by now. His eyes kept rolling back in his head, shock taking over his body as he thought about Vic over and over.

All he knew was that he had to die.


End file.
